Everyone changes.  You’re not the same person you were ten years ago and we all have moments when we think how great it would be to turn back the clock to days when we were fitter.

However, such change is natural and we accept it.  With elderly parents, though, the situation is not quite the same.  We know they are going to find life progressively more challenging, but we’re also aware there is a difference between the problems of natural ageing and other, more serious changes.  The stumbling block is knowing when to raise concerns that something could be a sign of medical conditions in need of treatment.

This is made all the more difficult by many changes being so gradual you barely notice them, particularly if you see your parents on a regular basis.  So the following is a guide to the kind of changes to keep in mind when considering your parents’ wellbeing.

Time to Take Note

You don’t visit your parents to study them, which is why you need to take steps to do just that.  Not in an intrusive, obvious way, but rather by simply focusing on key areas to see if changes have crept in which might be a cause for concern.

A good way of doing this is to take your parents out of their normal environment and routines.  They could come and stay for a weekend or perhaps you could take them somewhere new for a visit.  When they don’t have the familiar to fall back on your parents may reveal changes that were not so apparent in their own home.

You should make notes about anything you observe.  This is not only helpful if you need to discuss the situation with a health professional, it also provides reference material to look back on when trying to decide whether there has indeed been a change.

Signs of Problems in the Elderly

Forgetfulness

This is one of the biggest causes of concern.  It’s important to remember that everyone’s memory deteriorates over time.  Increasingly people suffer from ‘lost words’ and feel frustrated at not being able to remember names.  That’s normal and nothing to worry about.

If, however, these incidents begin to affect the person’s ability to communicate it’s time to seek advice.  Perhaps questions or the same piece of information are being repeated.  Or maybe your parent participates less in conversations and withdraws from many social activities – this could be because they are concerned about their ability to communicate.

Such signs could indicate the early stages of Alzheimer’s disease or dementia.  If this is the case prompt action and medication can make a considerable difference.  There are also strategies and lifestyle changes which can help your parent’s condition significantly, so it’s important to act.

Mood Changes

Changes in mood can suggest underlying problems.  If your elderly parent seems more emotionally volatile than used to be the case it could be an early sign of dementia.  You might find such changes more obvious when your parent is in unfamiliar situations.  If these changes are quite dramatic there is all the more reason to have the situation assessed by a professional.  They could also indicate problems with the heart or even a stroke.

Reduced Social Activity/Decreased Energy

If your parent doesn’t engage in social activities as much as before it’s easy to put this down to mobility problems or natural fatigue.  On the other hand it could suggest different problems. 

Again, dementia-related issues are worth investigating, but it could also reflect problems with hearing which can easily be addressed.
You should also consider depression.  Whilst mental health issues with the elderly tend to focus on more obviously severe conditions such as Alzheimer’s, the more common problem of depression is still serious and can affect other areas of a person’s health.  Withdrawal from activity can be a strong sign of depression, which is a medical issue that should be tackled.

Another cause could be anxiety over falls.  You should explore this and possibly obtain walking aids to boost confidence.  Even buying properly fitted or special orthopaedic shoes can make an enormous difference.

Whatever the reason, it’s important to re-engage your parent with social activity, which is crucial in sustaining positive mental health and all-round wellbeing.

Lost Weight

If your parent has lost a noticeable amount of weight this should be investigated.  Appetite naturally declines with age but weight loss is an important factor to assess.  This can be a clinical sign of disease, such as cancer, but there may be other causes.  Depression once again should be considered, producing loss of appetite and a lack of interest in food.  It may even be a sign that your parent is hiding financial concerns, leading to economies in food buying.

Possibly the problem is related to chewing and swallowing difficulties.  Some neurological diseases such as Alzheimer’s can lead to problems with eating foods of certain textures.  Constant throat-clearing and coughing may be a sign of this.  On the other hand, it could simply be a matter of poorly fitting dentures!  Weight loss can affect the way dentures fit, so bear this in mind. 

Swelling

Swelling, particularly in the legs and ankles, can be something we expect.  Too much standing or inactivity as well as water retention are common causes which are easily addressed.  However, you should keep a careful eye on new or persistent swelling since this can also indicate more serious problems such as congestive heart failure, kidney disease and diabetes.

Appearance and the Home

Are your parents gradually not taking as much care over themselves or their home as they used to?  Perhaps your mum doesn’t bother with make-up any more when she always used to take pride in her appearance?  Maybe there’s a build-up of dirty dishes or a formerly impressive garden that’s running wild?

It’s easy to put this down to the fact these jobs can seem too tiring as the years go by.  Whilst this could indeed be the case you should also take note about other possible signs to see whether it actually points to more serious problems.

Once again, these could be symptoms of early dementia.  It could also indicate depression.  Do some of these changes perhaps suggest the problem is financial?  Maybe repairs are not being made or there’s not enough food in the fridge or the house isn’t being kept warm enough?  These can be signs of money worries.

Numbness

If your parent experiences any numbness don’t just write it off as the normal degeneration of age.  This can be a sign of something more serious such as diabetes or a stroke.

Mini-Strokes

People tend to focus on full-blown strokes, where symptoms are serious and unmistakeable.  However, you should be alert to signs your parent has suffered mini-strokes, which can cumulatively create serious damage and certainly serve as a warning of the possibility of a major stroke.  TV game show host Bob Holness suffered 90 mini-strokes over a number of years without realising it before a major stroke hit and the truth was revealed.  So, if your parent suffers any of the following, get them checked out:

• Having what they might call a ‘funny turn’ – feeling faint and dizzy
• Sudden weakness, particularly if just on one side of the body
• Blurred vision
• Loss of balance
• Numbness of face or limbs
• Inability to speak or to understand what’s said to them

It is crucial to have your parent investigated if they have suffered any of these symptoms since prompt action can help prevent a much more serious attack.

Change can be Slow but Action should be Prompt

It can take time to become aware of many signs that evolve slowly, often over years.  However, being alert to the things to watch out for can help you spot problems before they become more serious.  Your parent may be the type who doesn’t want to ‘bother’ the doctor with things that are simply ‘down to old age’.  Sometimes you need to step in and gently persuade them to make that visit.  Putting it off only increases the risk of something more serious happening; taking action increases the chance of alleviating or even reversing problems.

Helpful Advice

If you’re concerned about the health of your parents and simply want to talk it through with someone experienced the friendly team at Nobilis in-home care are happy to lend an ear.  We are not only familiar with the problems faced by the elderly; we also know what it’s like to be a concerned relative!

Of course, our ultimate advice is to consult a doctor, but a friendly chat about your concerns can help you feel more confident about taking that step.

If you’d like to find out about our in-home care services we’ll happily tell you about that as well, but we’re not into hard sell.  We believe in sharing the benefits of our experience and helping people out when they’re worried. 

You can contact us on 0845 8620647.